October's English Joke of the Month

Here's a selection of Halloween jokes:-

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that hangs around your neck.

What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball.

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving.

What is a vampire's favorite mode of transport?
A blood vessel.

What breed of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds.

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich.

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath.

What's a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure...

Why did the vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation.

What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareoplane.

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries.

What does the papa ghost say to his family when they're in the car?
Fasten your sheet belts.

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy...

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray.

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're too wrapped up in themselves.

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone.

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with...

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets.

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer.

More English jokes here

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